When God Opens a Door...Walk Through It

When God opens a door... it's probably a good idea to walk through it. That's the lesson we used over the weekend to decide if we were going to pursue the adoption opportunity that presented itself on Thursday.

By now, many of you know we travelled to NW Arkansas last Friday night and Saturday morning; Nicole from Phoenix and Shea from Philadelphia by way of Chicago and Tulsa- to explore the possibility of adopting a little boy born the week before.

The moment we saw him, I think we both fell in love and just knew that he was meant to be our son. While born 10 weeks premature, he was an amazing sight to hold: Centered in a 300lb computerized isolette, with multiple lead wires to IV pumps and vital monitors and a nasal cannula for oxygen - all 3 lbs 5 oz of him laid there with eyes open and the calmest countenance you could imagine.

We just knew. We loved him and he was ours. We met his parents - both residents of Arkansas who emigrated there from the Marshall Islands. They confirmed what we felt and assured us that they wished to place him for adoption to ensure that he has the best opportunity for a good and secure life. They wanted us to parent him and provide that family.

On June 27, 2013, the State of Arkansas accepted our petition to adopt him and officially ordered his name to be Beckett Charles Stickler. His Hebrew name will be Beryl Chaim, utilizing Shea's father's Hebrew name Beryl and Chaim meaning "Life." Beckett was selected to honor Shea's father, Brian, by utilizing another "B" name and Charles was selected as a middle name to honor Nicole's maternal and paternal grandfathers - each of whom we believe would have loved to meet this charming little soul and tickled to have him as their namesake.


Beckett is a unique name and is one that carries great meaning to our family. An Irish novelist, poet and playwright we adore, Samuel Beckett's works typically are described as bleak or cynical - but closer examination reveals optimism, joy and perseverance. In his 1983 novella WorstwardHo, Beckett wrote, "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
Those words, among others he penned, rang in our minds throughout this winding, tumultuous journey to add a child to our family. And his journey to a healthy future is going to be marked with tiny gains and setbacks - necessitating a spirit content to try despite the risk of failure. That resiliency he posses is something that we hope to teach him to prize throughout his life.
His name can be a reminder.







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Wishes Can Come True

We all make wishes. We make them on stars, eyelashes, first time visits to a church, and especially on birthdays. Yesterday was my wife's birthday and while she didn't fully disclose the details of her birthday wish when she blew out the candle, I knew what it was. It's the same wish she makes every night - it's the same wish I make too.

Perhaps because we both dread the idea of going down the emotional dark hole again that we found ourselves appending her secret wish. We turned to each other and said "wouldn't it be even better if we got a call after someone gave birth, had already signed the paperwork, and all we have to do is come pick up the baby?"

Well today we got a call from an attorney asking if we would be interested in such an opportunity. Whether you believe in a divine plan, fate, karma or wishes... We now find ourselves with a potential answer to our prayer.

There is still a lot of details to sort through but our hope has been rekindled. We may have the greatest gift ever.

We will provide more details, as we sort through them but please continue to think good thoughts, say prayers, cross your fingers, etc. because this could be our lucky day!

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