Meeting the Birth Mom

Have you ever had a big first date?


You prep - choosing the place to meet, making sure you select a place they'll like, mapping out directions so you're not late, and even picking out an outfit (you want to make just the right impression; not too fancy but not average)... you dream up topics of conversation and anecdotes to fill in the moments of uncomfortable silence as you're sure there will be a few.


You go through a thousand thoughts and make mental lists all so that you can make a great first impression so you can get that second date.


Well that's kind of what it is like before meeting our birth mom for the first time. We drove 5+ hrs to get to her home town a day early; not sure why but we just didn't want to be late. That long ride provided far too much time to think. The dark of night that we cut through lures you in to worry.


Never once did we question who she would be or whether we would like her... It was whether she would still want to grace us with the greatest gift to brighten our lives.


As the hours ticked away our anticipation gave way to nervous excitement.


Following her directions we pulled up with cautious optimism and before we could even exhale she was in the car. We were finally in front (literally) of our birth mom. It was not a moment of strangers but rather of friends meeting up to grab a bite to eat.


Like a plucky sidekick her 8-year old son hopped in the car too. There wasn't time enough for that dreaded uncomfortable silence.


He broke the ice and shared everything from his day to his favorite two holidays - Christmas and his Birthday. You can't disagree with those choices.


She may have been nervous too but her little superhero gave her added courage. She was sweet and compassionate. She is small and delicate but you could tell that inside she is strong.


We didn't ask how she became pregnant or why she decided this was right for her; it didn't matter.


She picked us and wanted to look us in the eyes to see if we fit her vision. Her decision wasn't a spur of the moment, she wasn't naive nor was looking for something more than a loving home for her baby. She may be small framed but she is mighty in nature and has a plan.


Dinner was a combination of playing "squiggle" (drawing game) with her son and learning more about each other. She's a Patriots fan and likes to root for the underdog. She's an avid reader of suspense novels and has a career in real estate, although she would like to pursue a degree in criminal justice.


It's funny how one can find little things in common even when on a first date. She grew up in LA and use to go to Santa Monica like I did as a kid and like my mom, raising a son as a single parent. Her favorite memories are ones that include her son. We chatted about our first trips to Disneyland and our favorite rides.


She dreams of travel but is leery of the strange foods, like someone else we know.


After dessert, chocolate cake, which we can assure you has a way of motivating a "full" eight-year-old boy; we drove her home.


But not before she wanted to show us where the hospital is located. Unselfish.


We said goodbye and as we pulled away we wondered to ourselves how it went. Bzz bzz a text message of thank you.


Not sure how we got so lucky.


After so many attempts and moments of disappointment to start a family, in so few words we recognized that we have met the most amazing birth mom.


As we now head home; it is sinking in that we will be back. And not too long from now there will be three of us driving home together.


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