Today we had our first telephone conversation with the amazing woman who selected us to parent her child. What an extraordinary experience!
I was so nervous and excited I didn't sleep a wink last night - S was traveling for work and let me know he only got a little sleep for the same reason. We tried to rehearse who would say what and which one of us would ask which of our pre-planned questions to make sure that it went smoothly. All of that went right out the window when the time came; of course!
Her social worker called at the designated time and I had come home from work to take the call from the privacy of our house. She conferenced S onto the line and linked our call to "N" (out of respect for her privacy we are refraining from sharing her name and will refer to her only by her first initial). We jumped right in, addressing her by name, thanking her for doing the call and asked how she was feeling. She was so gracious; so sweet - very quiet - and explained that she, too, was very nervous about the call.
Her admission made us chuckle, put us at ease and opened the door to explain that we were, too. She began by explaining why she chose us among the profiles she saw - she was drawn to our commitment to our family and felt that we had wanted to begin our own family for so long that surely we would love and care for the baby. That brought me to tears. It's certainly the message we wanted to convey - but it was so surreal to hear her say that's what she saw in us. Amazing how someone who has never met you, can see you.
We learned a lot more about her:
1. Her family does not support her decision and she's very much alone in the adoption;
2. She has a beautiful little boy who is 8 years old who loves building things and math class;
3. She loves watching football and never misses her favorite team's games . . . Who is her favorite team you ask? ..... wait for it . . . the Patriots, of course.
She'll fit in fine in our family as my Boston-reared husband has a single firm rule in the house: no cheering for anyone other than the Red Sox, Bruins, Celtics or Pats.
4. She loves reading anything she can get her hands on, including historical fiction and biographies. History is her favorite subject as was mine. She'd like to finish her degree and pursue a law degree;
5. She is extraordinarily empathetic: so conscientious about referring to us as the baby's parents, explaining that this baby may likely share the sweet temperament of her older child and inviting us to be in the delivery room to share that moment! I cannot imagine that I could possibly be so gracious and focused on other people had our roles been reversed.
She's simply extraordinary and we could not be more pleased with who she is and the heart she possesses.
Next: We wait! We exchanged email addresses and agreed to set up a date to go visit her before the delivery.
More tomorrow! Tonight we'll sleep!
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